Lebron vs. the Hoot Owls

Last Wednesday AM, we let our 2YO black and white cat, LeBron, outside in the yard. LeBron loves hanging outside on nice days and even has a few feline pals from the ‘hood. It’s okay, he’s neutered. He usually keeps within a few houses in any direction. When kids start coming home from school in the mid afternoon, he runs out of nowhere and comes inside to get some food before he runs back outside. He always comes in at night. Last Wednesday afternoon, 4/24, LeBron was a no-show and has not been seen since.

Coincidentally, in the last few weeks, a pair of hoot owls who are using points and staying at the nearby Courtyard Marriott (free breakfast bar, wifi and parking) have been hanging around in the large oak and pine trees lining Trowbridge around the house. One of the hoot owls (probably the female) is large and has a crazy, detached look. I know, shocking, right? This female owl reminds me of Juliette Lewis in Natural Born Killers. She has a chip on her shoulder and she never blinks. She just stares through you. She is no Woodsy Owl and would gladly eat your first born if given the chance. I’m no Marlon Perkins but I do believe that the owls have spooked LeBron and he has gone as absent as his human namesake in the Lakers uniform did at the end of the NBA season. He should have never left Miami…I mean, the human LeBron, not the cat. The cat has never been to Miami although he is a Heat fan. He hates the Hawks for obvious reasons.

Anyway, I have attached a photo of the feline LeBron and am asking that folks on Trowbridge Cove, Club Forest Ct., Stapleton Ct., Tamworth Ct., Hallford Dr. and Trowbridge Drive (between Trowbridge Way and Hallford Dr.) please keep an eye out for him dead or alive. His stark black and white coat is no camouflage asset and gives up his location whether he is moving through the hood or is in a lifeless heap in someone’s yard.

I have also compiled a short list of suspects (Cucchi) and have hired special counsel Rod Rosenstein (no relation) who starts working on May 12th. He will also be staying at the Courtyard Marriott but isn’t using his points.

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Contact:

RB
(305) 984-6300
ronburnstine@icloud.com

One comment on “Lebron vs. the Hoot Owls

  1. Ok, I’m so sorry for your lost cat because I’m a huge kitty fan, but the entertainment value of this post is invaluable! Thank you for the laugh and I do hope LeBron makes his way home. Audra—can you please hire him as a freelancer? I’d read anything he wrote!

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